There it was. A perfectly nice day. We even got a long. Crazy feeling it was. I know I haven’t been completely rational about the situation but maybe neither have you. A thought that has crossed over is I see that your done and it’s over, but did you ever think that I might have wanted some closure? That I’m still trying to deal with this all? Without bringing personal stuff into our club? I haven’t been trying to be hostile towards you at all but I’ve had a lot of hostility directed towards me. I’ve just been trying to get through the fact that we’re done without trying to bring outsiders into this. I thought we had agreed to meet in a neutral place? Guess I thought wrong. I don’t get over stuff easily that is really important to me. I don’t move on easily. I’m not attracted to anyone else and I’m still stuck on this. I wanted to be friends more than you know. But it takes some time and a little distance. Not impatience. And I wanted to go tonight. I really did. But feeling so down after so long is draining. I didn’t want to disappoint you or anyone else. I just don’t need stress. I didn’t need anyone else yelling at me. You were doing fine yourself I promise. I really wish I knew how I hurt you tonight? I was the one who got called and yelled at. I was the one who apparently had people pounding on my door at almost 9 @ night when my moms been sick. I didn’t even know you were coming over. I figured we still had the neutral meeting plan. I’m sorry I couldn’t handle the last minute or so of our meeting either. I wish you could understand how I felt. How it all just came crashing in at once and I had to escape. If you read this I hope that you read it with an open mind. Obviously you want nothing to do with me. And for that I am sorry. But after all it’s just words right? They go in one ear and out the other and we forget them just as quickly. Thank you for this morning. It felt nice. Like everything could be ok at some point. If you forget me just as quickly then that’s ok too. I’ll be sure to silently wish you luck on your dream. I think you have what it takes to get far.